im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My ass is underappreciated
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
