Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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