I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
