he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
