I'm gonna have a badass scar
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
