Already got asked if we're dating
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My dick has a subreddit
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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