Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize