Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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