I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
