We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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