Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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