weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
