He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot