woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.