I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous