I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I forget how to act sober
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
