O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
