i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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