she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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