So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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