Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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