Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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