Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
