i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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