and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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