Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
