I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
