my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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