i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
