I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
