Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
