Barsexuality is the new black.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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