are you still at the devil's house?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
