I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
