I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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