I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
