I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize