Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
