lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
