I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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