Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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