fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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