If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
