Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
