There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He shit in the fireplace
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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