I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm too high and old for this...
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