I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
