dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
