He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
