My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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