hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just pee around me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
