Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
