Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
