cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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