therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
