this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
40s are totally the cure
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
