If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i black out too much to be "responsible"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
