thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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