how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
soo... how was my night?
Randomize