she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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