I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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