The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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